Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
