I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize