So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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