There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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