Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize