you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
