if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
