haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
