Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
