I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
