Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
