The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
