I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize