You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
