He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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