Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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