i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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