More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
