Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
