I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
