We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
