Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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