More tranny stories later!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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