Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You made out with two different species that night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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