I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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