we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
