If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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