she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
