I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
