Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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