college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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