My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
