i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
farters have to be the big spoon...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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