he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize