She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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