Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
