Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
