Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize