Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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