i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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