Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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