The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
