love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
