i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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