either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
