I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize