I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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