OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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