Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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