I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
