i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
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I will pee on everything he values.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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