fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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