She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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