if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
