I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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