Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
