try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
