So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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