All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
