How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
