I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
