I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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