**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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