you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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