Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
